Tired and oh, so weary

Today has been a long week. What started to be a quiet explanation of a request for prayer and why, by entering a wrong address has now turned a lot of internet worlds upside down. Intent misinterpreted, twisted and skewed to mean hate and judgment. Do I go or do I do I stay? Do I add a group apology or keep it to the ones I privately conferred. The things I am being castigated for are the things that are being skewered at me. Funny how that works. Yet, I opened this can, so I must take responsibility for the results. Some of it, though hurtful, I'm ok with. Hurting innocent people who truly care for all, was the hardest part. I made someone else cry. It bites hard.
What can I learn? Keep out of discussions, keep mouth shut, just keep things light. It suits me fine. It's cold and drafty and harsh up here on the outer walls. The armor has holes in it and the feet are o so pained. The chest aches and the mind blurs.
It's time for the infirmary; stoke back into the word...that's been too far and few between lately. Good thing I had reserves. Will it be time for retreat? Is there ever a time for retreat?
Does the pain ever go away? Will I always be more apt to do the wrong thing at the wrong time or will there ever be a word 'aptly' given?
I feel so like a sponge, absorbing so much anger, hostility, frustration around me. I'm not sure who or what I am...what is my calling?
I'm just weary Lord...

Well, Im tired and so weary but I must go along,
Till the lord comes and calls, calls me away, oh, yes,
And the mornins so bright and the lamb is the light,
And the night, night is as black as the sea, oh, yes.

Chorus

There will be peace in the valley for me, some day,
There will be peace in the valley for me, dear Lord, I pray.
Therell be no sadness, no sorrow, no trouble I see,
There will be peace in the valley for me.

The bear will be gentle and the wolf will be tame,
And the lion shall lie down with the lamb, thats what it
Says, and the beasts from the wild will be led by a child,
And I will be changed, changed from this creature that I am, oh, yes.