Jungle Woman

There she was, crawling through the thick, murky underbrush, trying hard to stay on top of things. Why her, she wondered, brushing her sweaty strands aside. Elbow-by-elbow, knee-by-knee, she pressed onward, forcing her way through dead bodies of insects, some intact, some 'not so much'. Foraging on, finding a stick, she began hacking her way through. Somehow, someway, she determined to see daylight and fresh air again. If only there was someone who'd heard her frantic call, someone to rescue her. Wielding the stick like a mighty sword, she quickly flung debris far and wide. Little by little, she began to progress toward an opening. Yes! The path was widening! Gulping in deep breaths, she could tell there was fresh air ahead! She was almost home. Agilely, the sojourner deflected more animal bodies, more copious sharp, sometimes unimaginable objects, she steeled herself onward. One...last..."hi-YA"! Yes! She saw the light! Sucking in her breath, she exhaled slowly, savoring the moment. Daylight had broken - there she was just before the open door. Heaving one last sigh, as she sat down with a feeling of utter satisfaction. She HAD made it unscathed! She was victor! Free at last, thank the Lord Almighty, she was free at last!

Moral of the story:

If young Reaganmeister ever leaves a mess like what she found under his bed again, she vowed to hang him by his toenails and feed him ONLY his dreaded tomatoes and cooked green beans and peas!!!